Trust The Believe

I am sure most of us have already familiar with ‘secret’ stuff. You know, kind of said that told us to keep on thinking whatever we want in life. Keep that desire(s) in mind and the universe will work to give whatever you want. That simple and it is done.

Whatever the hypes and exaggeration of this theory lead me to conclusion that it is better for me to keep positive thinking instead of doing it the other way round. But the problem is, when I really want something and I try to think it most of the times, I became obsessed. While eventually, when the fact is resulted not the way I want it, my world shattered.

There is once, I am hoping for something, and that something is so close within my reach. There is a very thin threshold that I need to surpass and the world will be mine even for a while. I am thinking about it every day, I’m singing it, I dream about it in my sleep, I am full of optimism.

Suddenly, BAM, the things goes on the wrong direction. My world ends.

I was clueless for days.

I want to cry but I can’t

I run faster in my jog

I swim deeper that I want the pool to swallow me

I eat, I read newspapers, I talk with person with empty minds.

Too Much? Yes indeed, and it is really happened.

But soon I realize…for that matters, no problem is harder. I survived that one, and I will survive the future others. I’m stronger!

Meanwhile, since that experience, I try to set up my mind into normal mode.

When I really want something, I will be optimist, but not putting my expectation high in the sky. I have learned that it is the process that we called life; the reward is just a bonus. J

***

By the way, 3 days ago I was waiting for my flight back home. The time when I arrived in the waiting room in Soekarno Hatta airport, suddenly my mind said that I will meet Dahlan Iskan that day. There are neither specific reasons nor special analysis, it is just it.

I have 30 minutes waiting only to get the news that the plane will be delayed for another 30 minutes. I remember punctually, it was 15 minutes prior to boarding; a man in a white collared pink shirt entered the waiting room. He is smiling, there is Dahlan Iskan himself standing. (Oh GOD, I always wondered HOW A list passengers are able not to spend their time waiting in the waiting room like ‘common’ people.)

Meanwhile, I’m star struck.

I’m freezing.

I take a deep breath, and make sure everything is real.

There it is….the power of mind? Sixth sense? Or just coincidence?

It is too perfect to be called coincidence.

Me and Mr. Iskan are one the same plane back to Surabaya. I wish I am sitting next to him, but I must have known that he will sit in Business class…and I am on the cattle class. Dahlan Iskan have long been my idol. I admire the way he work, his creativity and his out of the box sight from what I have read in his books and articles.

All in all, now I have learned that I should trust my believe more often. Who knows, that it may come true.

Have a nice Sunday!

Poor That Little Kids

Yesterday, I was strolling around on cell phone-dedicated shopping mall, where almost every tenant is selling cell phone and more cell phone and it is accessories. In the middle of enjoying my time, a 13 years old something boy came after me and asked for money. Here is the conversation happened between me and the boy while I am walking and he following me all the way…

Boy (B): “would you give me money please?” on a weary eyes, and plead voice tone

Me (M): “for what?” I stare him in the eyes for 2 seconds and continue my walk

B: “I need to pay my science books sir, it cost me Rp.20000. . . .”

M: Instead of refusing him automatically, I continue to respond him: “what is your name?”

B: “Rendy.”

M: “Where do you school?, on what class are you?”

B: “SMP 37, class 7d”

M: “Where is it?”

B: He answer that it is on jalan kalianak or kalianyar, I forgot.

M: “Why you are not in school right now?” *it is 11am in the morning.

B: “I have an afternoon class”

M: “Oke, boy, you don’t have to worry. I will contact your school teacher after this and I will pay all of your books. Don’t worry,…”

B: “No, you don’t have to do that. Let me pay it myself.”

M:”No it is okey, I will help you for sure!”

Suddenly, the boy is pinching his eyes and said “You are stingy!” And after that, he walk away from me …….

OKay, I gave credit for the boy’s bravery of asking money from a stranger. But unfortunately, he still needs long way to go to outsmart a stranger like me.

But, No, really, should the boys really needs money to pay his books, I will pay his books. If the case I give the money to him of 20000, or a half of it, or even a quarter of it, I will not know how the money spent…is it really for paying his books or for smoke or playstation rental….only he and god knows.

If that boy is honest, he shouldn’t be afraid or have a problem if I contact his teacher to pay his books.

Poor that little kids.

First scenario, that kid has been brainwashed by his older folk to scum people.

Second scenario, that kid is so creative that he made it up himself to get extra cash. He was inspired by the late happening yet so tacky “Minta Tolong” show on local channel, expecting that clueless stranger will help him.

But after all, from the response I have done to that kid, I am confident that I did the right things.

Have a great week end!

VIP

Just moments ago I have discussion with my parents about my sister wedding. My dad wants to make some kind of “VIP” classification, they are guests who have “superior position” or hold “superior social statuses” on my parent’s office. To honors their attendance and makes them special, every VIP guests coming would have their name mentioned by the emcee upon their arrival to the wedding venue. They also would have VIP area separately from the “common” guest area. In that separated area, they will sit comfortably on a chair and share their round dining table with other VIPs. While the rest of others common guest should enjoy their meals by standing. Even though chairs are also provided for the commoners to sit in, but it is not in the sufficient amount equal with the total guests. So there will be somehow explicit categorization within the guests.

I was saying to them that VIP classification should not be necessary. We are supposed to make every guest equal and special and they should mingle together whoever they are….

If we want to say about VIP, it should refer to those who have a very close relationship with our family. Those who have done a lot, shared their joys and tears with our family. Not the one our family superficially knows and just for the sake of their position.

Unfortunately, that is not the case in my parent’s mindset, and not in the head of most people here.

***

There’s a time when I’m inside the subway, a very crowded subway. Peoples are walking in their own paces. Workers are wearing their business attire, Nanny were came from supermarket buying greens and fruits, and the youngsters came with their own personal style of emo, harajuku, casual, hip-hop whatever it is labeled. They, we, I was like minions with the same big picture of paces living a life.

There’s a time when my plane just takes off. I saw outside the window, everything is just small. Cars were like small dots moving. I cannot differ which one is Hyundai which one is Hummer. Human? I don’t even able to see it. Don’t ask me, which one is Dian Sastro, which one is Oscar Lawalata (even on face to face I think they are separated at birth!), They’re just perhaps atomic stuff I seen from my distance.

There’s a moment in my life, I was on an omra pilgrimage. Shedding my tears while rounding the Kabah, I was wearing one piece of white fabric. The open space I’m on is so huge, but my movement is limited because I shared it with other millions of people who wear the same sheet like I do.

I feel so small, feel worthless.

I believe seeing from the high distance up there; My God will see what I see on my plane’s window.

Who are we to classified people?

I believe social status, physical appearance, position or any cultural classification should be dead and buried in today’s human civilization. Peoples should live together in equality within their own capacity in any circumstances.

God, I need an apple pie.

Yesterday, I was on a conquest for a job. This job is some kind of field engineer of multinational oil service company, may I named it X. Before I’m telling about the test, let me tell you that just to input my name and make an application, I have to work a queue line for 2,5 hours. Standing.

And then about the test, the first process is almost like a beauty pageant contest. I, along with others 340 something participant was given a question to answer, all should be executed in English. I have 3 minutes to answer or say what I think about the motion given. My question was like: “What will you do if you are already working for three years and still get no promotion?”, and then I answered that I will put a thick layer of arsenic on my boss’s spoon. …

No I’m kidding ,

I was answering that I will..bla bla bla,..because of bla..bla ..bla..so that blab la bla..Okey, that basic answer makes me goes to the next round along with other 30 applicants. The next round is almost similar with group discussion session. We discuss some particular case study and make some priority towards an option. There will be no right or wrong answers; it is only how the reasons are being delivered. There was also a challenging Q&A session about our team’s decision.

After the session ended, 10 applicants made it into the next process. It was 4.30 PM and the company’s HRD team invites us to 5 star hotel in the downtown for the next session. We should be there at 6 PM. I was a little bit nervous since we will get some kind of basic math-physics-physics power kind of test. The last time I have physics subject was like 3 years ago, with C grade. HAhahaha…so there I was sweating nervous.

Luckily, By basic, they mean it is really basic. Even though I forgot about particular things here and there, thanks to my electro-physics subject in my junior high school, I manage to complete the test. 6 peoples remain, 4 peoples are out. Now, I am already among the six candidates.

Next step is an interview. My interview is done at 10 PM, the time when I already lost significant amount of my charms. . its more to a conversation to explore our motivation, goal, background and everything in between. I was trying to tell the truth as honest as possible. When the interviewer ask me: “what other(s) company you have in mind?” and honestly speaking (or clumsy) I was mentioning several names of multinational consultant office. I don’t know whether it is ethical or not saying our intention / interest towards other company while we are in the middle of job interview for DIFFERENT company.

It is just slip off my tongue, something that I missed to control. Having said that, it may comes to the interviewer’s mind that I’m not 100% interested into their company.

Today, I feels so numb..Feels nothing and empty…not happy and not completely miserable either.

God, I need an apple pie.

Stocks Market is SEXY

Since yesterday, I was following stock market basic class. This weekly-every Wednesday free program is provided by Indonesia Stock Exchange (IDX) in order to educate the society upon stocks market topic. Being include in the G-20 countries on which it is economy taking a significant impact towards global living circumstances does not synonymic with Indonesians advancement in stocks market. With a behemoth number 240 million population; there are only 350.000-three hundred and fifty thousand Indonesians soul were active in capital market. The participation of this-only 0.14 percent folks is a miserable stake possibly indicating that the stocks investment atmosphere is not conducive enough, or the other mostly relevant reason is because most Indonesians are not having knowledge towards stock market.

Even though Indonesians are already exposed with the financial-stock market headlines, name it index and currency rates in local newspaper, exclusively dedicated market review TV program as well as real time (?) stocks price appear as a running text, but in the name of my favorite Salmon Sashimi, trust me when I said there are only a few of the population would understand about it.

Okey, now I am officially appreciate with the breakthrough of IDX management within their effort to provide free education for the newbie in order to gain awareness generally and increase the local capital market investor specifically.

The newbie(s) were flooding the IDX seminar room and heavily enthusiast following the 2.5 hour class. I notice that I was the youngest participant. It is no wonder since the minimum age to be joining this program is 25 years old. And currently I am 23, how can I manage to join this program? Thanks to my rather mature (if it’s not old) looks! LOL. No seriously, at first I was rejected by the admission crew. There is no way I can join this program. Somehow, part of me do not like in being rejected. And the other part of me really want to join this program (hey, its free!) so there I asked to meet with the program director.

After a brief 25 minutes conversation with the director, Voila! I was finally accepted. What did I do and what did I said to the director? Well,…let me keep it for myself

I now think that stock market topics and economic analysis are sexy reading. I also hope that I can learn so much in this new subject of my life, fixing the mistakes my parents often done in the past regarding money investing (not that we have much to invest), but after all, Veritas Inlustrat*!

regards,

AIP

*Truth Enlightens